


A cooking disaster

by goldgalaxytea



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking, Cute, Established Relationship, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, Humor, Jokes, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Murdered Food, Other, Reader-Insert, Suggestive Themes, That's quickly put out, a small fire, gender neutral reader, male reader - Freeform, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24794470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldgalaxytea/pseuds/goldgalaxytea
Summary: Arthur Kirkland can't cook.
Relationships: England (Hetalia)/Reader
Kudos: 12





	A cooking disaster

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my first reader inserts though it's not one of my first fanfics. So this is VERY old and probably VERY bad LMAO but I didn't want it to rot away in my Google Drive so here it is!
> 
> Key:  
> (F/S) = favorite show  
> (Y/N) = your name

You were sitting on the couch watching (F/S) while Arthur was in the kitchen cooking. He didn't tell you that he was cooking but you knew because you could smell his dreams of learning to cook burning away along with whatever he was making in there.  
  
You usually leave him alone while he's at it. You learned the hard way to stay out of the danger zone when it's like this. What happens is he usually forces you to eat whatever that is that he made or you end up cooking right along with him. Both are very bad outcomes.  
  
One would probably kill you before you could even puke it up and the other would probably just make it worse and will eventually lead to the first one. You're not a bad cook or anything, you're a great one in fact. But there is no way to even remotely save that. His cooking is too far gone for even [insert famous cook here] to save. So you ignored the sounds of Arthur cooking and continued watching (F/S).  
  
~Time into the future but not a lot~  
  
Oh this is your favorite part! You really love it when-  
  
BOOM!  
  
-that doesn't happen.  
  
Seconds later the fire alarm goes off.  
  
You sighed and grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall of fire safety (which was conveniently located on the wall right next to the kitchen).  
You walked in and quickly put out any and all fires in the kitchen. Since this was a daily routine it all happened in less than a minute.  
  
You calmly picked up the pan he was using to cook, which was overflowing with black, gunky, goop. Another victim lost by the hands of Arthur Kirkland. May it rest in peace, cause it sure as hell isn't resting in anyone's stomach. Unless they had a death wish that is.  
  
“Hey Arthur, should I put this in the food graveyard?” You asked.  
  
Arthur's face turned red.  
  
“Must you bring this up every time?” He questioned. You giggled in response.  
  
“Yes~”  
  
Arthur sighed.  
  
The food graveyard was a joke that Alfred had started. He once asked if you guys had a graveyard for all the food Arthur has tragically ended the life of over the years. He said if you did then it would be HUGE. But he also mentioned that you guys had a big backyard so it could be very possible. He was also wondering if he could assist in burying the fallen warriors because they needed a hero to properly put them to rest and they probably didn't want their murderer to do that  
  
After that you had burst out laughing so hard there had been tears running down your face. But to Arthur, it wasn't so funny. He spent a good half an hour angrily yelling at Alfred.  
  
And since then you have brought it up every time Arthur accidentally almost burned down the house, much to Arthur's annoyance.  
  
But the sad thing was you guys didn't have a food graveyard, so you settled for just throwing the poor thing into the trash can.  
  
“So what were you trying to cook?” You questioned as you went to work cleaning the pan of any remaining goop.  
  
Arthur mumbled something.  
  
“Sorry, but I couldn't hear what you said.”  
  
“I said I was trying to make us some pancakes, love.”  
  
“That was very sweet of you dear, but how about you let me cook breakfast instead.”  
  
Arthur walked up behind you as you continued washing the pan (you have no idea what Arthur did to this thing but dang, it was not coming off anytime soon) and wrapped his arms around your waist and laid his head on your shoulder.  
  
“But you always cook everything, love. I wanted to make you something for once.”  
  
You turned and gave him a little kiss on the cheek.  
  
“I know you meant well but burning down the kitchen is not the way to thank me.”  
  
You scrubbed the pan even harder, but the goop didn't even move half an inch.  
  
“I still want to make breakfast though.”  
  
You were about to argue, but then you glanced down at the pan. It was the only one you two had that wasn't completely ruined because of Arthur's cooking. Emphasis on had.  
  
You sighed.  
  
“Fine. But no more fires.”  
  
Arthur kissed your check.  
  
“Don't worry, love. I promise.”  
  
And with that he got to work.  
  
~Minutes into the future but not many~  
  
You two were sitting at the table enjoying a nice bowl of Lucky Charms. And as promised, there were no fires.  
  
“It's a lovely breakfast, dear.”  
  
“I wish I could've actually cooked us breakfast though.”  
  
“It's okay, hun, your skills lay elsewhere in the house.”  
  
“What exactly does that mean, love?”  
  
“It means your skills don't lay in the kitchen. They lay in a different room of the house.”  
  
“And what room may that be?”  
  
“The bedroom.”  
  
……..  
  
“Oh.”  
  
Arthur cleared his throat.  
  
“Well it looks like we're both done. So why don't you go back to watching your show and I'll join you after I've cleaned up in here. Sound good, love?” He asked.  
  
You nodded and walked back out to the couch and continued watching (F/S). It was almost over so you watched it till the end. A little after it ended Arthur walked in and sat down next to you. He took the remote and put on 'Dumbledora the Explorer'. You really had no idea why he liked that show. It was really weird and demonic to you. But it wasn't that bad. And you have seen worse. Much worse. You cringe when you remember the time he made you watch 'America's next top cook'. Now that was horrifying. There had been people who made even Arthur seem like he was the world's greatest cook. And that's saying something.  
  
So you two continued watching the lovely demonic show. At some point during it, you turned to Arthur and kissed him on the lips. It wasn't very long, just a few seconds at most, but it was a very lovely and sweet kiss.  
  
“I love you Arthur.” You said as you cuddled up against him.  
  
In response, he wrapped an arm around you.  
  
“I love you too, (Y/N)."

**Author's Note:**

> ̶Y̶O̶U̶ ̶C̶A̶N̶ ̶T̶E̶L̶L̶ ̶I̶'̶M̶ ̶A̶ ̶H̶O̶M̶E̶S̶T̶U̶C̶K̶ ̶F̶R̶O̶M̶ ̶T̶H̶E̶ ̶T̶I̶M̶E̶ ̶S̶K̶I̶P̶S̶ ̶L̶M̶A̶O̶


End file.
